The Hungry Store

Have you ever been bathed and ready for bed or not bathed and ready for bed, however you float your boat and one of your rotten kids screams, "Mom, we want a hamburger from----"  and then you scream back  "No, I'm not going, go feed the alligator!" and they both  keep screaming and screaming and you want to just RIP your own head off so then you get dressed again and make a trip to the hungry store at 10:00 at night so you don't have to hit them with anything sharp or blunt.

So you are dressed and in your BMW convertible (everyone has one of those, right?) and then you get behind someone who is at least 3 times your age (no matter how old you are) and it takes 3 hours to go one block before they finally turn and get out of your way.  At this point, a car full of swamp people turns directly in front of you and you don't know if they are mutant or just have live alligators hanging out of their windows like dogs so they have to drive slow or the alligators will fly out and land on your windshield.  Then when you finally arrive at the hungry store to get the hamburgers, their little blinky light goes off and you jump out of your car and beg and plead through the locked glass to speak to the manager that it is an emergency and you quickly come up with a crazy story about how Aunt Sue is on her deathbed and wants her last meal to be 2 hamburgers from the hungry store.

Then the  hungry store charges you an extra 15 dollars for the overtime they have to pay the burger people to make your two burgers, but it is worth it to keep from hearing your kids scream at the TOP of their lungs all night and then it starts pouring down rain and you fall in a mud puddle and when you finally make it home with the food, they are sound asleep.

Yeah, it's happened once or twice...