Sunday, July 29, 2012

The Universe and Me



I recently joined a gym.

Sometimes, a cute guy will happen along.
Then, the inevitable happens.
The universe begins to hatch a distinct plan.
Things were going too well for me for 30 seconds of my life.
Life will then begin to go into direct contrast to what I hoped it would.
The universe is definitely out to get me.
Jump ropes are in on it.





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76 comments:

  1. Awww. His loss. A "keeper" would have untangled you.

    Thanks for the morning smiles!

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  2. Keep at it! One day you will show that rope who's the boss.
    Until then, getting untangled probably burns calories too? :)

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  3. Haha! I love this. I know how you feel though. There are days (a lot of them in fact) where I swear the universe hates me.

    And can I say I absolutely LOVE Jeff's comment above??? Now that would have been so sweet. Not as funny, but it could have turned into a whole new kind of story. Thanks for making me smile!

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  4. After years of trying (and failing), I've accepted that jump ropes just aren't for me. I'm okay with it.

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  5. Fret not, that guy had 6 boobs.

    You don't want a guy that has 6 boobs.

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    1. They are abs haha and there were six of them! I counted...

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    2. I too have a six pack. However, there's a keg in front of them. More of me to love?

      ...

      ...

      Eh, forget it, I'm off to the gym. :D

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  6. Maybe you should try the elliptical!

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  7. did you know that I am a jump rope fixer upper? Bring out the scissors!

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  8. If that's all it takes for him to turn and run then GOOD RIDDANCE - KEEP RUNNING JACKASS!
    Di
    X

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  9. If he wasn't cute, then everything would have been fine. You would have kicked ass in jump roping and he would have dropped a 40 lb weight on his foot!

    Isn't that how it works? :D

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  10. Seriously. I get giddy when I see new posts from you. And I LOVE how you draw muscles.

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  11. You're so darn funny! I need to remember to come by here more often. If I don't become thwarted by the Evil Jump Rope Conspiracy ; )

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  12. I applaud you for choosing the rope. Just think how embarrassing a hoola-hoop malfunction would have been.

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  13. damn jump ropes!Never trust 'em.

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  14. I recently joined a gym too, but I vow that I will stop my working out short of not being able to put my arms down at my sides. That guy appears to have some bicep problems. Or maybe he's wearing floaties. Which presents different reasons why you should just let him go.

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  15. Sounds like how my life has been going lately. I went to a picnic last night and had two light beers and woke up this morning with a terrible headache that was trying to crush my brain. What I'm saying here is we are all terribly, terribly cursed.

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  16. Only the guys jump rope at my gym. It's a guy's gym, with this one old lady.

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  17. That looks like me a jump rope! sandie

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  18. You don't really wanna date a guy who wears a diaper to the gym, do you?

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  19. hahaaaaaa you should read my post ( you have to search thru ) called I broke up with Jim. Wanna play double dutch?

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  20. Shame he didn't stick around to see your Houdini like skills in getting out of that! I trust no one in a Speedo!

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  21. There are plenty of things in this world that are out to get us. Jump ropes are almost certainly one of them.

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  22. Wow he wears his pants down low just like me. :D Although his did seem to get lower and lower with each drawing. :D

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  23. Hilarious! I can definitely relate!

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  24. I've used an imaginary jump rope for years and can report absolutely NO problems. You should ltry it. ;)

    S

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  25. LOL I always knew there was a reason I avoided those things, but the rhymes people make up as they jump can be fun.

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  26. Whew, your gym needs to enforce a dress code. A dude in a mankini is settin' himself up for a wardrobe malfunction.

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  27. This post and the comments had me laughing till I cried.

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  28. I wouldn't worry about him...I think he was wearing a diaper???

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  29. Why pay for a gym when you can get tangled in a weed whipper cord in your own front yard?

    Love,
    Janie

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  30. Funny post and Chuck's comment also gave me a good laugh!

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  31. Oh, God, so funny! Sounds like my life, only unfortunately, I don't need the jump rope to make a mess of things :)

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  32. Thank you for the best laugh of the day.

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  33. Not only was he wearing a diaper and had six boobs, but he had some sort of rotting disease on his arms... He obviously has issues. You need someone who can help you carry your baggage, not someone who has his own luggage trolley. You know... issues... baggage? This comment sounded better in my head. I definitely agree that a keeper would have helped untangle you. Now there's a cute "how we met" story.

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  34. I'm so glad to know a successful woman has the same grace skills that I possess. Fantastic post!

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  35. Haha He's not good enough for you if he can't laugh, help you up, and introduce himself first.

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  36. I love the way you drew cute guy's abs. I'm canceling my gym membership and heading out to by a felt marker.

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  37. That used to always happen to me during double dutch... lol

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  38. And this is why I try to work out when I know the gym will be completely empty.

    Or at least, with no one to watch me.

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  39. Don't worry. Things like that will keep happening. Just keep skipping, just keep skipping, keep skipping, skipping skipping skipping.

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  40. yep, sightseeing is usually the only reason I go to the gym :))))

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  41. I think it's a universal rule that once your jump roping is acknowledged, all skill and rhythm go out the window.

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  42. Yes, but why is the man wearing a diaper? That's a better question.

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  43. Apparently the universe is unfolding as it is supposed to, but not untangling itself properly. What a droopy-drawers loser. He should have at least offered to wind you up. ":)

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  44. At least it didn't end with you farting...that would be WORSE. MUCH WORSE!

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  45. Ohhhh Tracie, you dodged a bullet on this one. The universe was trying to help you out. I am a regular gym-goer and over the years I have discovered that a fair percentage of guys with 6 packs that approach girls in the gym are freaks. (I am assuming that according to your drawing those were abs showing and he had large biceps). Not saying all of them mind you...but a lot. Steriods and supplements do strange things to some guys.

    I think Jeff Harget's comment was right. A good guy would have offered to help.

    Still...jump ropes are evil.

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  46. Meh. You don't need a guy who is so caught up in your jump-roping skills that he can't notice your obvious gift for self-immolation...rofl. You need a guy whose bulging muscle isn't in his head where his brain belongs.

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  47. Haha, this would be exactly what would happen to me, :)

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  48. He didn't offer to help you out? What a jerk! A cures on his abs! May they slowly become absorbed in a sea of belly fat!

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  49. Oh my gosh I am seriously laughing out loud here. I couldn't help but see how much your little admirer resembled a...uh...you know! LOL Thanks for the laugh. :))))))

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  50. At least you didn't pee your pants. That's what happens to me if I try to jump rope.

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  51. Could happen...has done..for many of us. Hahhahahhaha. Good skills are hard to come by.

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  52. I just came back from trailing a new gym. It is a nice place and not that busy on a Tuesday at lunch time.

    One thing that struck me as odd as that one of the private personnel trainers there was getting a little too touchy with his client. She didn't seem to mind, and kept asking where she should be feeling exercises, despite being shown time and time again. She was hot, and a quite a few years older than him, and he would be an attractive man.

    But I guess that's why you take towels to the gym to wipe down the benches. It's not always for the sweat...

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  53. Those jump ropes are evil, scheming little snakes!

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  54. LOL. sorry !!
    i screw up when it comes to weights but i must admit that i am a rope and hoola champion :)

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  55. Jump ropes are evil. I would always do something that made it hit me in such a way, I thought it had removed a limb. They can hurt.

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  56. Yeah, those jump ropes are weapons of mass destruction!

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  57. I knew it!!! I could show you how to make that rope into a lasso. If you're trying to keep the cute guy around, THAT would work . . .

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  58. LOL! Oh boy... I've been there too. *cringes*

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  59. LOL!
    This is precisely why I go to a ladies only gym!

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  60. whats that pouch, happy face looking thingy at the crotch line?


    (adorable!)

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  61. This is really good. So funny! -- barbara

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  62. You are so clever! hahaha This is so good!

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  63. lol, I like the buff guy with his stick-biceps.

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  64. lol I see similar stories everyday in my gym

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  65. Great blog, loved it.
    I'll follow you.
    Cheers from Argentina.
    HD

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  66. You know, I'm kinda glad that it didn't work out with that guy. I was trying to envision what your children would look like, and it's not a pretty picture.

    OpinionsToGo

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