Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Ruckus

Success at raising a child has somehow qualified me to advance to the next level of raising things.

I bought a puppy.

My parenting skills can be called into question at any given moment.  My son broke his two small toes once.  I laughed so hard all of the way to the hospital, I had to pull the car over so he could find something to cover his foot so I couldn't see it anymore.  When we arrived at the Emergency Room, they had to tend to me first because I was hyperventilating from laughing so much at my son's foot.


Dog raising, however,  is actually my skillset and I take that very seriously.

His name is Ruckus.  I thought of buying a cat, but honestly, I believe that cats have a hidden agenda that I haven't quite figured out yet.
It might appear that I have an anti-cat view and I do.  Have you ever noticed that cats lick themselves a lot after you pet them?
They are desperately trying to remove our smell.

I noticed that cats take deep advantage of their kittenhood.  They lull us into their graces and then set us up to be torn to shreds by their sly ninja reflexes.  They are nothing more than conduits of a little something I like to call:
I really am a "dog person," though.  I hope my dog likes me.  The other day, I left him outside too long .  I noticed that he had whittled a knife out of a milkbone...and he left a wet chew toy at the top of the stairs...and the other day when I was taking a bath he fetched me the hairdryer.  Overall we are getting along just fine.  My son didn't start whittling weapons until he was at least two, so I am a tad concerned. 

My son wants the dog to stay inside so I am housetraining it.  I am NOT understanding why he eats so little, yet so much comes out.
Ruckus is always in search of a new thrill.  Yesterday, he slept behind my chair instead of under it.  I am not one of those "dog whisperers," but I can read his thoughts.

Sometimes we go for a walk.
He is still adjusting to the leash.  At times, it looks like I am dragging him, but he just likes to slide, that is all.

Ruckus has been transplanted to this strange, beautiful wonderland called my home.  I am already behind on everything there is to be behind on, but sitting here watching him chase his tail over and over again in an endless loop of tail-chasing, stopping only to kill his chicken themed squeaky toy I realize that my home will never again be the same and I think I'm gonna like it that way.

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118 comments:

  1. Cats: "Hurry up and die so I can eat you." That is all.

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  2. I remember when I brought my puppy home. He was so adorable and I just wanted to cuddle him. So we slept in my bed together. And I'd wake up to see him curled into a furry little ball. Then I woke up one morning and he was on my chest, looking adorable. Also, peeing. The little terror was peeing on me. Not exactly how I imagined that going.

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  3. That last picture cracked me up. I am currently fostering two cats I have had for a year, and they will be leaving my home end of June. I love them, but I am totally ready for them to leave. Between the cat hair, and them having ruined two of my antique furniture items, I'm over it.

    I will be adopting two rescue pit bulls. I hope they like to slide. That looks like the best way to walk a dog to me.

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  4. See I love dogs too, but the one I want is really a small horse, and they don't belong in the house, and alas I have no fence so we have a cat.

    Really a cat has us, we are her humans to do her bidding, and if we don't do as she likes she makes sure we all know how badly we behaved.

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  5. Hahaha!! Another great post. I think you're onto something there with the cats. I once witnessed our neighbor cat methodically and strategically wear down and train our black lab, Belle, over several weeks time until our poor dog was completely cowed by that cat. The reason? The cat wanted to be able to snuggle up to her on cold winter days; and then later that Spring, devil-cat commandeered Belle's doghouse to deliver her litter of kittens. Wouldn't let Belle in for a month.

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  6. I'm with you on the dog vs cat thing. I really enjoyed this! :)

    S

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  7. Love it! Have fun with Ruckus, although I've got to say... he's got a little bit of a hellraiser look in his eye. ;)

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  8. Ruckus is very lucky to have, especially since you take him sliding! Dogs are the best, aren't they? I know our house was never the same-I had no idea things would be so good.

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  9. Awww he likes sliding. Very good and good luck in your puppy rearing (whoever came up with "rearing" as a term for raising something either was super juvenile like be or blissfully unaware of the double meaning).

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  10. Hahaha! Cats are evil -_-

    I wake up to my cat sitting on my chest staring at me. It's creepy.

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  11. I really enjoyed this post! I'm with you on the dogs versus cats thing. Ruckus is adorable!

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  12. Awwwww, you are going to be an awesome mom to that furbaby :D.

    He is absolutely adorable and I love his name!!

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  13. Dogs are better than cats. It is scientific fact.

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  14. Guess I'm in the minority, but I'm a cat person. I've never had a pack of cats attack me while I'm out walking nor have I ever had to change my walking route because of mean cats along the way. While I'm not really a dog person I think Ruckus and I would get along just fine... baby pictures are always adorable and it will be fun reading your posts as he grows... Hey... maybe one day it will you sliding and him pulling you along ;-)

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  15. he fetched you your hair dryer while you were in the tub and you think CATS are evil? that is an agenda to electrify you and steal your car if I ever I heard one............

    and

    "but he just likes to slide, that is all" = best line ever

    you rock!!!!! this post made my day!!!!!!!!!!!

    xxo
    MOV
    ps-- I know the word is electrocute but I just like electrify better

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  16. I like "electify" better too, or even better "electifry."

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  17. As a kid, we had a dog that mom would send upstairs to wake us up. He would crawl under the covers at the foot of the bed and work his way to the front to stick his nose on our faces.

    Loved that dog, but not in the morning.

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  18. That so totally was a bag of treats. Hark! I hear one being opened right now! *dashes away*

    -Barb the French Bean

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  19. I have a feeling that you and Ruckus are going to get along just fine. He's going to have you trained in no time.

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  20. I brag about my dog all the time and I've got tons of pictures of him. My kids keep saying he's my favorite. Don't tell them I said so, but he is.

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  21. As much as I love cats, I too believe they have some kind of secret hidden agenda. My cat can wink, and I always feel a little weird inside when she winks at me. She's telling me that soon, all her plans will come to fruition and I'll be lucky to live through the night, let alone see her again.

    She's also taken to sleeping on me.

    He is a cute little guy though. Dogs can bring a lot of fun to a house :)

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  22. Too cute. You will have such a good time with him, but they are a lot like little kids, little two year olds. Dogs will melt your heart.

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  23. You are hilarious! I did it the other way around. I was great with puppies, so I developed what I called the puppy theory of child rearing. When I remembered to apply it, it worked great!

    By the way, I'm sure you have seen this dog/cat diary that makes the email rounds every couple of years, but just in case you haven't, this will make you laugh out loud, almost as much as your post made me! http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/humor/otherhumor/dog_cat_diary.htm

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  24. I can't wait to read about more of your adventures with Ruckus. Oh, and you'd better give him a treat before he uses the Milkbone knife on ya ;-)

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  26. My sides hurt from laughing. Love the pup!

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  27. Ruckus is awesome. Sometimes my dog gets very stubborn and reverts back to "I don't know what a leash is" times. I like the theory that she enjoys "sliding" more than the idea that I must drag her places.

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  28. LOL - I just love your sense of humour.... and little Ruckus is adorable....

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  29. LOL cats have an agenda alright. The rhyming cat wants to rule the world. He doesn't care when I touch him but my other one I touch her and it's like I'm dirt, she licks and licks away. They rule you not the other way around. Cats think they are God and dogs think they are human. Always been a both person and always will be. Once an animal comes home things change, but for the better, usually. If you excuse the chewed up things, the messes on the floor and the constant need for attention.

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  30. Oh Ms. T. ~ I am dead, someone should take my pulse. I died from laughing too long, too loud, too hearty. We aren't 'cat' people here and while I have no quarrel with cats or kittens at all, it would be just unsafe. One of these doggies would eat a cat or attempt to and the cat would actually eat one of them. Here's a BIG LOVE salute to you, your child and your doggie Ruckus! I'm @grammakaye on twitter.

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  31. Give him rawhide, as those get mushy instead of pointy...ew, but safe. Hairballs and allergies...survery says no cats living here!

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  32. I do so love these posts!

    P.S. That pile is nothing compared to what my wife's Basset manufactures. It makes me nervous when other pets from the neighborhood go missing. I look. I ponder. I wonder... nah, she was in the house last night... Wasn't she? LOL

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  33. After impulsively adopting a puppy I realized that I am most decidedly a cat person! Dogs are too needy and mine is seriously a mental case. She is afraid of air, grass, leaves, anything that makes a noise that is not a squeak, men, chickens, the bathroom, the car, cars that move, squirrels... Yeah. Pretty much everything. I want to bring her camping with us but I'm afraid she'll have a breakdown.

    Puppies are definitely cute though.

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  34. so cute! I love playing with other people's pets but haven't owned one myself since I was a kid. I'm much too lazy when it comes to taking care of them... and oh... the poop!!! Also, pets here have a natural tendency to die after about a year (maybe two) and so it was always so heartbreaking.

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  35. All of my life, I have been convinced that cats HATE me. I really think that they do.

    But dogs... dogs love me, and I them. As I've told you before, I can't wait to get my own.

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  36. lols. yay new puppy. Our dog is turd turd turd :) I love cats and dogs equally though. I'm surprised how much of a pet person I've become! :)

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  37. Oh my goodness, you make dog raising to be so much fun! I have a dog and I can't understand the eat to poop ratio either. Enjoy your new pet and his knife.

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  38. We have Labs. There was no chew toy that would last any amount of reasonable time. Once i bought a smoked bull's penis. ( the bull was done with it.) That thing lasted forever! Except it smelled aweful and was slimey as hell, especially when you stepped on it in the dark in the middle of the night.

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  39. Ruckus is so beautiful. I grew up with German Shepherds (my father said that they were only Alsatians when they bit you). Love them. But these days I share my life with not one but two black cats.
    They do not pooh mountains (usually).
    They do not keep the street awake crying. (they do sometimes keep me awake.
    They walk themselves and
    They toilet train themselves.
    That said, one of our cats is a part time psychotic and I usually have healing wounds on my arms, legs and butt.

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  40. cats > dogs, in my opinion. you can get cats to shut up!

    this legit made me laugh, thankyou!

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  41. Puppy! He looks awesome.

    Bob says "We do not have a hidden agenda. These are not the droids you're looking for. The cats can go about their business. Move along."

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  42. The dog looks like my Frankie when he was a pup. That means he'll be a jerk until he's four. Once he turns four, he'll develop canine hip dysplasia, and that will cost a small fortune to keep under control.

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  43. Hahaha, I loved the picture of you dragging him along, looks like a scene from when my boy takes me out for a walk! I am not a cat person, yet my boy LOVES cats... I think this is a weird thing, when boys like cats... I blame his Mum... he is a Mummies boy... Mummies boys are cat lovers right? Love Elle xo

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  44. 1. All cats are minions of Satan (not necessarily a bad thing).
    2. Ruckus is an awesome name for a dog. (Or a 28-year old man.)
    3. Ruckus is not a better name than Cumbubble, my now-dead turtle.

    Great post!

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  45. I'm telling you, you must be the funniest person on the planet! Have you ever tried stand-up? I think you'd blow everyone in the audience away!

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  46. I do love dogs, but I would say I'm a "cat person". Mine are very affectionate though, and don't seem to think we "stink" lol. We got lucky in the cat lottery, I guess. :D

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  47. I have cats and I can confirm that they have a hidden agenda. It basically consists of ruining your life. I prefer dogs so how I ended up with cats is beyond me. Ruckus is adorable! The walking photo is my FAVE!

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  48. Congrats on the new puppy! I was snickering through this entire post because I so sympathize with the disproportionate amount of shit that a puppy creates given more food they consume. And also the dragging thing!!! OMG! This would happen when mine was a pup just seconds after she BEGGED to go for a walk!

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  49. Aw. That's why I adopted a dog who was at least a year old. No potty training for me. Plus shelters often have too many older dogs, so it's a win win.

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  50. Oh my awesomeness. I just found your site and this post, applies on so many levels -we have new dog, one I was against getting and am now living the consequences of poop scooping, walking/being dragged by a mini weiner dog (I know, you'd think I could control him, but um. . . not my forte) I do better walking my kids-even without the leash.

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  51. Great to know that you're not a fan of cats... had my own share of traumatising moments with some feral (but once domestic, I think) cats.

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  52. Squeeeee! Ruckus is so freaking cute!!! I don't know what you're feeding him, but here's a tip: more expensive specialty food only seems more expensive at first. But because it's nutritionally dense, dogs eat A LOT less of it (my 120-pounder eats 3 cups of the expensive vs. 7-8 cups of the grocery store brand based on the feeding instructions on the side of the bag). And - here's the kicker - 8 cups of food makes A LOT more poop than 3 cups of food.

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  53. Bah, I just threw up that dog is so cute. Damn, I'm going to have to watch at least 4 hours of sports replays in order to gain my masculinity back.

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  54. Ruckus should meet my big German Shepherd, Schultz. I bet they could create quite a ruckus together!

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  55. Somehow this seems to be the venue for my little post on kitten-punting.
    Believe me, there were no kittens harmed (nor will there be) in the making of this post.
    My kids were laughing insanely the other day about kitten-punting, saying things like: "If a cat did that to me, I'd punt it down the stairs (we have no stairs) or, "I needed a kitten to punt because...(The reason escapes me)" or "Here kitty kitty, I've got a surprise for you."

    I can't say why this was so dang funny to me. I mean, if I really thought my angels were so horrid as to really, really punt a kitten, I'd be horrifically alarmed. But knowing they love animals and are dying to have a pet of any kind (other than the invisible ones with which I have showered them previously), I am giggling like a madwoman.

    Maybe they are dogs in disguise. Maybe in the Preexistence a cat clawed them while they were making chihuahuas (the stilt-legged cat of the dog world). I don't know. What I DO know is that they rescue every stray mutt that comes along and always hope nobody answers the calls I put out to the pound and Humane Society. Yep, dogs in disguise.

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  56. I don't have cats or dogs but I love your post. I just know you will have a show someday. I always always laugh when I visit you which is not often enough. Thanks for the visit today.

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  57. Hi,

    I'm Janet from Over The River....blog. Thank you for signing up to follow my blog. How did you find me? :)

    I love your blog. You are so funny. I will sign up to follow it now. :)

    We have a little dog. She's a Maltese. Her name is Downy. In my blog I have written about her as Princess Downy. :)

    Gotta run..Take care, Janet...
    http://throughthewoods2.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks! I don't remember how I found you. My goal is to visit at least 3 new blogs a day. You were one of them and I enjoyed it!

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  58. What a cute puppy! My nine year old (63 to you and me) Icelandic Sheepdog looks very similar. Except mine lost his testicles years ago. Well, he didn't "lose" them, exactly.
    Despite that, he still looks happy whenever I come home.

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  59. I have found what Stephanie says is true. Buy expensive dog food. Poppy only ate a 2 cups a day.
    There's dogs and dogs and cats and cats. I miss some of each. Not all.I had a besenji that could chew his way out of a concrete bunker. There was not a crate he couldn't escape from.

    The only thing bad about cats is if they get incontinent. Now that Poppy is gone I just know there's some stupid vacancy sign being posted in dog language outside my house now. One will stroll up to the door soon. I'd really like a break from pets after having four at a time for thirty years or so.

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  60. Loved this post! I have turned into a cat person, just because we adopted an AWESOME cat, but........I totally get your cat agenda way of thinking. I always have a lingering thought too. Like why is Bailey just sitting on the window sill, staring at me like that??

    STOP STARING AT ME YOU CAT!!

    Dogs on the other hand don't seem quite as devious. Just tongue drooling, tail wagging,poop dropping, furry kids!

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  61. Oh my gosh! I laughed so hard I almost peed my panties! Cannot believe someone writes the way I'm thinking! I sat in my craft room/office/my space just laughing before I went off to bed and left your post up - suggesting my Sweetie take a look at it, but gave him the "coffee alert" (don't be drinking any while looking at my monitor reading this!!) First a laugh, then another, and then just belly laughs to the end!

    Thanks for stopping by and becoming a follower of mine - great to meet you, I'll be back!!!

    Blessings,
    Donna

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  62. Haha! I say the same thing of my mother's cat. She thinks every crinkling sound is her bag of treats being opened. Great post!

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  63. Thank you for your kind comment's on my blog. I have two fur babie's I love them so much.
    Love,Debbie:)

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  64. Ruckus! I love the name. There's no false advertising. Not like when you get cats called Lovey and Mr. Cuddles. In my experience those two cats were not appropriately named. I came to that conclusion whilst being savaged by them.

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  65. What a cute little doggie! How could not love you and your super funny take on things!

    Princess WeeWee

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  66. And I heard that cats will eat you if you die and are not found soon enough! ick

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  67. I've missed checking in on you. Not checking up. That would be weird. Um, anyway...

    I'm so glad you got a dog. I'm thinking of getting my crazy mom a dog. What do you think? She often doesn't remember anything 20 minutes prior so it could be a problem OR WORK OUT PERFECTLY.

    I'm a dog person but I have two cats. I love them to pieces (especially one of them) but I am absolutely certain that the one I really love more than anything in this world totally works for the CIA and uses mind control tactics against me. There is no way that an animal is just accidentally this cute.

    Those toes are f-ed up. You gotta admit.

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  68. And now that I know your dog's name is Ruckus, I am going to be thinking of this all day:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8qb9TRqZsM

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  69. Ha I meant this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OFROViP0J0

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  70. So very nice to meet you! I am looking forward to getting to know you and being a new follower of such a great site.
    Love reading about your new puppy. I always have been a dog person to but have really fallen in love with my first cat and buddy now Tinkerbell. I won't tell her how you feel about cats. lol
    Maggie

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  71. Haha, very funny. Have fun with the new family member!

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  72. Puppies are so cute ... Then they grow up and poop allot. However, they adorn no matter what and that makes up for just about everything ... LOL

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    1. Sorry for the errors, I am dyslexic miss stuff. I meant to say "however, they adore us no matter what and that makes up for just about everything. :), Susan

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  73. I love the picture of you "walking" your dog. :)

    I have seen many dogs that seem to walk themselves. They hold a portion of their leash in their mouth when they walk. This always makes me laugh, but I think they are just trying to keep their owners from choking them...

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  74. Hello there :)

    I have a special request if you're interested. I've made a birthday blog for a friend of mine - and I'm hoping everyone will stop by for a visit and help make it a success. Here's the link if it's something you feel like doing.

    http://bestexoticmarigoldhotel.blogspot.in/

    Thanks!

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    1. Thank you so much for visiting and helping me out with my blog project. I really appreciate it :-)

      Delete
  75. Yes, cats do secretly want to take over the world. As the owner of two black and borderline evil cats, I can attest to that fact. You are much safer with a dog.

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  76. He sounds like he's a handful. I bet he's eating other things besides just that dog food. That would explain the poop.

    Keep a close watch on him!

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  77. Don't worry, the first two years will flash by :) hee hee hee.

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  78. Enjoyed this. Ruckus is a great name for a dog, because all of the dogs I have ever known love to raise a ruckus.

    But I am an equal opportunity pet lover! Cats are as loveable as dogs to me.

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  79. What a delightful blog! I'm so glad you stopped by mine and left a comment so I could follow you back here! As a cat-lover, this was a great read, wonderful way to end the weekend, thanks! :-)

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  80. Ahahahahahahahaha. We have dogs and cats and horses and chickens. I can truthfully say that cats want their pets (us) to do their bidding! Whereas dogs just want lovin'. Ruckus is bodacious! Thanks for the visit and follow over at my place. Following you back. *waving*

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  81. Hi, thanks for visting my blog and joining it. I am returning the visit and don't think I have laughed so much in ages!! Thank you. I feel that I must become one of your followers so will rush to do it now...... Joan

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  82. Ruckus is indeed very lucky and he is soo cute! in some ways, i share your sentiment on cats, but i do like them arrogant pussies, if they dont go around scratching stuff around the house so much.
    but dogs, yeah. your love can go viral with them.

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  83. Love this site! Thank you for pointing me towards it!

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  84. Very interesting post,
    Thanks for dropping in and for the follow.
    Its really good to read the contents here.
    But i have a caution, dogs and cats are good
    but keep a watch, keep children away from them
    they do carry rabbis too.
    So be more cautious.
    Best regards
    will come back to read more
    thanks
    phil

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  85. Very Interesting post,
    Thanks for dropping in and for the follow.
    dogs and cats are good pets
    but i have a word of caution
    keep children away from them
    since they carry rabbis be more careful
    I am following
    Best regards
    Phil

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  86. Hahahaha... hilarious!!! Thanks for stopping by.
    Ciao,
    Mary

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  87. Aww Im obviously a dog person too...and cats are secretly trying to take over the world. For real. and the dog food thing...yeah so apparently if you buy the cheap stuff from walmart all the food has bi-products (wings,feathers,bones, Styrofoam...i wish I was kidding) so there is a bunch of filler which they poop out more of. It's a little sad that you have to buy stupid expensive food just to make sure that crap isn't in it. so... nicer food = less crap... who knew?

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  88. I was just thinking kids were easier than dogs and then my son decided to start this defiant-spitting-biting-smacking-get-on-my-last-nerve-whining BS. I llok at my dogs and Im like, thanks for not sassing me, babies...

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  89. I too despise cats. Their tongues feel like the bottom of old dudes' feet.

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  90. I'm more of a cat person. I don't mind their aloofness - I can be pretty aloof at times too - but you can cuddle on the sofa with a cat and they always smell WONDERFUL. Dogs can be a bit noisy and smelly; though I have had my heart won over several times by cute dogs.
    Anyway, best of luck with your new addition to the family. :)

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  91. You have no idea how much I enjoyed your post. All those smiles and chuckles got my day off to a great start. Thank you, thank you! And thank you for your lovely A-Z comments. Truth be told, I'm ripped! But reading that you thought I did a fine job soothed a tired brain as I think you're so great. All those LA dates and people coming from everywhere, Lordy, Lordy! BTW, got a call last night from a Baton Rouge area reporter (born and raised in LA, native Cajun speaker) who's sniffed out my family first came to LA in 1679. He's in the process of writing a book about my family and a couple of others. When I told him I was doing the same, he froze, defrosted and ploughed ahead. I was polite thru it all (cautious about info given) but, but for reasons on a LA person can imagine, am not a happy camper about this.

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  92. Oh my god, you are funny. I just finished wiping away tears of laughter from the picture of you walking your dog. I think you're crazy (but I think all animal people are nuts). I lie and tell my kids that I would die if we got a dog. Some of the boys are willing to take that risk. I do give you credit, though, you sure picked out a cute one. Good luck, and may the force be with you, crazy animal lover.

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  93. My cat licks herself furiously after anyone pets her. It's so insulting. Congrats on your pup, he's so cute!

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  94. Hi there, I love that you popped in to my blog, thank you.
    Reckon you've got a good'un in Ruckus... just gotta be careful when walking down stairs or taking a bath and all should be well!!

    Your drawings are so cute and your humour is delightful. Beaut to follow you.

    What do I call you? In Australia we shorten names... I'm not sure you'd like "Crackers" ????

    Cheers!! Susan ;D)

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  95. If you know of any dog training tips, let me know. We have a puppy from hell. His name is blake but I don't think he knows that yet. We have had him for at least 3 months now if that tells you anything.

    Now that I think about it, our oldest child is 8 and she still don't her name either! I'm not sure we are meant to be raising anything!

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  96. He just likes to slide!!!HA!!!!!!!! (((Dying)))

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  97. giggle, thank you so much for this post. You will realize why if you read my post on Friday xo

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  98. hmmm I don't think my first comment posted... I am trying again Loved this post it made me giggle. I hope you will read my Friday post I think you will relate xo

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  99. Freaking hilarious . . . why are dogs capable of producing so much poo! LOL!

    Loving your blog!

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  100. As you might remember, I am such the cat person. The disproportionate amount of out vs. in is high on my reasons why. Good luck to you and Ruckus!

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  101. My dog wants some input.
    Samson Says: Better watch what you say and do to your puppy now (like that dragging him along) because one day Ruckus will be BIG!
    If you thinks his poop is big now......Respectfully, Samson the Samoyed Pup

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  102. I'm glad I decided to visit your site. Thank you for stopping by at mine. You have humor and it's great that you mix illustrations too. Nice to meet you here :)

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  103. I thought I was following you, but for some reason, I was not. Now I am. Laughter is great and you provide or cause much.

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  104. Dogs defy science - give them a half cup of food and they'll give you 3 cups of poop. I just don't get it.

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  105. What kind of dog is that?

    I'm currently at the home of the dog who taught me I can love dogs. In general, I would say I like the low-maintenance of cats, but even their low-maintenance still includes feeding and cleaning up after, so I prefer no pets.

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  106. Very funny stuff! We just go a new little dog in a house of three cats, its a Shihtzoodle. Part Shih tzu and part poodle. Indeed you are correct, 2T of Food yields roughly on Safeway bag full of poop!

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  107. Ruckus sounds like fun, and i hope you enjoy him. Cats are the master race though, and they are watching mwua ha ha ha!

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  108. Bahahahaha! He just likes to slide?! Well written!

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  109. Dogs are great. I have 2 of them... I also have a cat. Please forgive me for that. I honestly do think the cat plots ways to destroy the rest of us.

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