The Sophisticated Life of Owning a Trailer Park

I've lived in mobile homes off and on my entire life.  It is really not a good sign when your home has more miles on it than your car.  Ironically, at times, our house had wheels on it while the car sat on blocks with no wheels.

My already confusing life as a child was an enigma wrapped in aluminum,tires and the occasional vinyl siding.  I began to associate everything with wheels.

My goal always was to get ahead in life.  The only connecting factor going for me in life was mobile homes. My brain made that connection.

Living in a mobile home park had its upsides. Once, when we were cutting the grass, we found three cars.

My brain usually works for me, but sometimes it works against me.  I call it the big brain.  After living in mobile home after mobile home, I finally decided that if "you can't beat 'em join 'em."  I'm not really sure if that relates to what I did next as my thoughts are still going through the maze, but when I was 25, I decided to buy the mobile home park that I was living in; however, I lacked the glorious trait of sophistication that the rival mobile home park owners had.


My first step in that direction was to switch my choice of ketchup.  It seemed right at the time and I was desperate.

Staying non-fancy is the one part in life that I have mastered.  Everyday is simple and casual, like going to the Dollar Palace.

My tenants are my pride and joy.  For once in my life, I am in control.  They have to like me, unlike my friends, who don't.  Sadly, some of my closest friends treat me like a glass vase.  They initially put nice, beautiful flowers inside of me to make me like them.  Then, they break me, give up on me and go home.  I am then left broken and confused, relying on people who owe me money to pick me up and put me back together.

I have heard EVERY excuse in the book about late rent.

Sometimes I get this feeling that I am being pulled down in life, yet at other times it feels more like I am being pushed or more specifically, shoved.  It is a "dog eat dog world out there" and no matter what I own or who I am friends with, I am wearing milkbone cologne and the dogs are always out.  


Ironically, I have given free rent and cleaned my tenants homes free of charge when I see them struggling financially or physically.  I am not one of those "slum lords."  Life is too short for that.  My bills get paid.  At the end of the day, I get to live with myself.


I am trailer folk.  Mobile homes run through my veins.  I am not one of those people who is "trailerly challenged." I know the mobile home park life and I make the best of it as a professional trailer park owner.


Sometimes my male tenants think I want to date them.  My favorite pickup line ever was when some guy told me I had "nice teeth." 

Owning a trailer park is fun and full of great adventures.  I specifically encourage my tenants not to shoot at each other's pets or windows and to stay at least partially clothed when outside. There is only one rule that I stand by and enforce.