Friday, March 23, 2012

How to be the Cat's Pajamas and Gain Happiness and Wealth Along the Way--Part 1

I'm not from anyplace special on this Earth.  The state that I live in is shaped like a boot and I get kicked pretty regular by it.  Our mosquitoes are so large they fly around with small animals in their mouths. Last year, though, I bought a house and paid cash for a new BMW convertible.
I wasn't funny as a child.  The other kids in school thought I was the principal.
When I was a toddler, my parents threw me into a lake.  They weren't trying to teach me how to swim.
All of my friends were either invisible or imaginary...well, both.  
I have been offered cartooning jobs.  I have only been drawing for 92 days.
 
Statistically, I have a greater chance of being stabbed repeatedly in the eardrum with a rainbow in a desert during a 100 year drought than to have all of the good fortune that has befallen me.  I will be randomly sharing over the next few months different tips for increasing blog traffic, twitter accounts and gaining happiness in life in general (no blog needed).  However, I still want to maintain my regular posting of humor, life and goodness.  I will be slipping things into different posts, but my main secret (yeah, I have secrets) will completely blow your socks off (keep your shoes on for that one).  When I tell people of this simple little thing that I do, sometimes their mouths fall open and little puddles of drool form on the floor...it is that amazing and I started doing this at the age of 8!  Within six months of doing this, I had started my own business (yes, at 8 years old).  I had become a self-made millionaire somewhere in my 20's and will never have to work again for the rest of my life.  

I will be sharing "my secret"  when I reach my target goal of followers and subscribers  and I will also share it in the book I am currently writing.  I don't want you to buy anything (I have nothing to sell!), just follow along and read.  Maybe pretend to like me.  If you are really nice to me, I might let you send me some chocolate.

Are you ready to get started? Put your seatbelt on maximum buckling.  Here is the first thing:


Whether you have a blog or not, this is very important. Be a part of something.   These basic steps can be applied to anything, including Facebook or Twitter. Blogs are a valuable resource in networking, and can actually be utilized more than Facebook.  You don't have to have one, just be an active part of your favorite ones.  I have met so many great people doing this.  The average person only has a few hundred or a thousand "friends" on Facebook.  I'm even friends with Pepto Bismol on Facebook! (I have my reasons).  That does me no good as far as building a relationship. Build a community and you build your future.  I might be confused, though.  Maybe it's "Field annuity and seal a moocher."  It's one of those two.

Be a blog ninja! Don't have a blog? Use this principal in your everyday life.   Love your followers like a Ninja Turtle loves pizza.  The pizza will love you back. You know how when you walk into a spider web and every kind of ninja known to mankind comes out of you?Yes, be that kind!
I have an unusual amount of commenters on my blog.  They all get 5 stars and two enthusiastic thumbs up!
It makes blogging so much fun and makes me look really important! They read each other's comments and check out each other's blogs. I actually comment on several blogs a day. You can start off with just commenting on as few as one or two a day.   Doing this, I guarantee you either blog growth or carpal tunnel syndrome...whichever comes first. Whether you have a blog or not, it's also a great way to meet some wonderful people, in which case that would fall under happiness! 


Be positive and make your world a good place to be.  I created a stand alone comic like this one below and it may or may not have went viral. It was shared on Facebook so many times that I lost count.  People want to be positive and they want to be around other people who are.  That's a good sign!

Like I said, I will be breaking this post up into several increments so that it isn't book-length long and you get tired of me and go join the Crips or the Bloods or one of my other rival gangs.  I will be posting some funny posts in between just to break up the monotony of reading informative posts.  Thanks for being a part of my gang. 

Meanwhile here is something completely unrelated, but I found interesting on msnbc:

Apparently bottled water may boost tooth decay in children,so we are back to drinking chocolate syrup.  I love how the rules change.
submit to reddit

68 comments:

  1. Hmm...interesting advice. And I saw the bottled water thing too! Just don't eat or drink or do anything ever and you should be safe from all the bad things. Sheesh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so glad I found your blog! My interest is definitely whetted. Can't wait to hear more!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes! First comment! Now all my dreams will come true and my blog will run the universe!! Muahaha!

    You may, or may not, have killed me with this post. My grin was wide, but I resisted the guffaw until "field annuity and seal a moocher". Then it was over.

    I saw that thing about bottled water. Sometimes being alive makes my head hurt. Television must be destroyed. It's created a world of fools and dumb-assery.

    Congratulations on all your success! I can't wait to read your tips and advice so that I too may turn my life around and be a super genius!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh son of a french fry. Gia beat me to it. Now my life will end in ruin.

      Hey guess what though? I've decided to go into real estate. I'm going to be selling ocean front property in Arizona.

      Delete
  4. Love your cartoons, and I'll be waiting anxiously for you tips on how to increase blog and Facebook traffic.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love being part of your gang. You're a great leader. I'm currently working on a post about a T-shirt with a kitten dressed as a princess on it, but I'll hold off on that until you tell me what to do, and just write about tomatoes instead. I don't know what I'm on about, either.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm the good! :)

    Great post, and yes, comments. Lots and lots of comments. Sometimes I spend more time on reading blogs and reading/writing comments than writing posts. :D

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm proud to be a Crack You Whip gangsta!!!!! Let's all get a really awesome tattoo to show our solidarity. Thanks so much for the tips. I look forward to reading more.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are awesome! Look forward to more.

    By the way, Pepto Bismol (or Peppy, as I call her) is a good friend to have. That, and her cousin Immodium A-D.


    Always funny, you are.
    And hey, even Principals can be comical. So maybe they just thought you were a super cool, hilarious principal ;) They could all be sitting around saying "Hey, what ever happened to that awesome principal. She was so funny! I bet she is a successful comedian/writer/'how to be happy and wealthy' book writer"

    I've already joined your gang, thank goodness I didn't have to get 'jumped in' or initiated...that would be bad.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Bottled water tastes gross anyways. Boiled water is the best.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oooh a gang! I've always wanted to be a part of a gang but I don't like violence and spray paint. You made my inner gherkin very happy. Congratulations on all your success.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Can I be vice president of your gang?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great piece, tracie! and please let it be noted: I always DID drink chocolate syrup (so in that way, I guess I am a trend setter).

    You rock!!!

    xxo
    MOV

    ReplyDelete
  13. Excellent advice! I've had my blog up for almost two years and the experience has certainly been one of the best of my life! :D

    -Barb the French Bean

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ooooh! A gang! I was in a gang once. There were motorcycles. They called it a "club" but I knew what it was. It didn't end well. I'm willing to give it another try with this gang because I haven't seen any tridents or bandanas yet. I would also like to learn how to be a millionaire so this could be a perfect fit for me.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yay I'm officially part of a gang. I tried to be good in the world and then I realised I'm not good.

    ReplyDelete
  16. You do make me laugh. Good stuff. Good social networking advice too.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I was friends with two of the Queens of Great Britain on Facebook and John Wayne but sadly they vanished?

    ReplyDelete
  18. You already rock my socks off!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Great stuff. You have me really curious what the BIG secret is.

    Proud to be part of the Crack You Whip gang!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm still nursing the muscles I pulled while reading your customer service post, but I'll be back because I don't have a choice. I'm addicted and need my fix.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Why do you write like I think sometimes? ;D

    ReplyDelete
  22. Can't wait for you to share the wealth...of knowledge.

    I smile every time I log on to 'manage blogs' and see you've gained yet another follower. I've calculated that if you average 10 followers a week, plus subscribers, Facebook fans and other social networking media, then by 2020 on June the 3rd...(working out calculations) you'd be RULER OF THE UNIVERSE! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lily is my accountant. I got back $3 this year.

      just sayin'.

      xxo
      MOV

      Delete
  23. I agree with a lot of what you say. I would love to have the growth you've had! My blogging is about my emotional outlet and sometimes, it's just not positive. I guess I can attract angry followers that way.

    Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  24. You are too funny. I am really looking forward to hearing more of your advise and what you have to say about growing a blog. I am working on my own blog gang and it can get a bit depressing at times. My blog gang is growing, but like everyone else I want it yesterday. I want to be king of the hill NOW.

    You gotta love it about the water bottle. If you wait long enough, what was once bad for you will become a healthy option ... LOL

    Keep the laughs coming. :-),Susan Cooper

    ReplyDelete
  25. I did this is one big joke, but I wouldn't trade the relationships I made with people blogging for any. Twitter and crummy Facebook just doesn't have the same appeal. For you do really get to know people this way and growth just continues, now I don't even really have to do much and new people come.

    Although a few blogs a day pffft, I do like 50-100 hahahaha depending on the day. Oh my poor fingers. Not having to work, geez that must be nice. If only I could get to that point, the cat and Pat would be quite happy and still very yappy.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I am going to start a blog in which the posts are nothing but comments about other blogs' posts. Then, when those blogs come to collect their comments from my daily post, they will fall into a smallish hole I'd dug and covered with old discarded captcha phrases. There they'll stay until they agree to join your gang. Unless you tell me otherwise. If you don't say anything, I'll assume you endorse my plan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the funniest comment I've read all day. I'll follow your comment-only blog.

      Delete
  27. We're a gang! Woo! What are our colors?? I think my favorite part was the "my drawings look like this sometimes". It was funny but I truly just spent a large amount of time laughing about it. So thanks for that!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I'm looking forward to the rest of the posts in this series. As a new blogger who wants to be successful, I need all the advice and information about blogging I can get.

    Thank you for doing this for us!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  29. Well, I will look forward to blog growth and/or carpal tunnel (which ever one comes first), general happiness, drinking more chocolate, and having less cavities. As gangs go this sounds, like a win, win....well, maybe everything but the socks being blown off. Are we talking strong winds or are we talking KABOOM?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Yay! You are a part of my gang and I am a part of yours!

    Very interested in learning your secrets!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I'm 45. Can I be like you when I grow up? :)

    Love this...thank you for making me laugh and smile and think happy fun thoughts!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. So when do we start jumping out of windows and diving into swimming pools to bloody the water?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Well, I sure love you enthusiasm and the fact that now I can tell my future wife not to put a bottle of water in front of me when we're having dinner. I'm eternally grateful. :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. So far I'm doing everything you mentioned here, and I'm doing.. alright I guess? Looking forward to the rest of your tips. :D

    ReplyDelete
  35. I used to drive a crap car before it went bust, most of my FB friends are people I know but don't like, and I had guacamole for dinner. Why am I still happy? Seriously, what is wrong with me? Oh, but I would like a date with this amazing fella! Any tips?

    ReplyDelete
  36. great post and funny--somewhat rare in blogs i read! ill be back (as arnie says)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Great post, love it -- fun and smart!

    And by the way I am not friends with Pepto-Bismol on facebook, and that is not likely to change...

    ReplyDelete
  38. I am officially intrigued and can't wait to learn more. I love the comments that I get on my blog and I love interacting with other bloggers. I'm not sure just how much I want to grow my blog, because I love that - for now - I'm able to maintain a relationship with just about everyone who comments on Clay Baboons. But yeah, I'd love to have more followers. I think that - to start - it would help if I actually posted more often. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Great post - Twitter still baffles me so I'll be waiting for any tips you have...

    ReplyDelete
  40. Rats! I missed the bottled water thing...now what should the kids wash down their pixie Stix with? I am afraid of twitter in both concept and how much more my housekeeping would suffer from preoccupation!

    ReplyDelete
  41. These are interesting comics. I enjoyed reading this post.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  42. i should get back active on my twitter :P
    and you have really nice green eyes :)

    ReplyDelete
  43. I'm trying to get more active in the blogosphere, following, commenting, etc. It's all pretty new to me. I'm an introvert, so it's not in my nature to go out of my way to say "HI, PERSON I DONT KNOW!"

    But I'm learning. :)

    ReplyDelete
  44. I'm feeling the love but not the fame and fortune! I'm getting older and slower by the minute so hurry with the big news!

    ReplyDelete
  45. I'm up for trying anything, but do I have to follow blogs that I dislike, just for the sake of marketing?

    ReplyDelete
  46. Oh, I guess my comment was erased. :( That's okay, I have lots more. I am wondering if you continue to read and comment on blogs that you don't enjoy, just for the sake of networking, or do you just go to blogs that you find interesting or funny? I used to read and comment on a few semi popular blog, but I found that they lost me with constant "begging" for comments and support in sharing. I'm in the mindset that I love my readers, and even though my blog is crude at times, I value them as friends and confidantes. Therefore, I don't recommend other blogs to them unless I truly enjoy the posts myself. I also don't have time to read a bunch of posts that don't interest me, just to comment on them. Sorry for the length of this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I only read blogs I enjoy and only the posts that interest me. I don't comment on every one, but I try to interact with some.

      Delete
  47. A gang member...very cool. Will we have our own colors, and handshakes (virtual, of course)...?? I have to draw the line at having my jeans hang to my knees though, there's only so much I'll do for the group.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Any advice for those of us just getting started in the blog world?? PS, thanks for taking the time to visit my blog, and comment :) Now you have one more follower. I am trying to get better about answering my comments.
    -Heidi http://mommypluscoffee.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't answer all of my comments because of time, but it is a good idea if you are just getting started. The best thing about it is meeting some great people. I will be writing a post on content. Checking out other blogs gives you an idea of what else is out there and what is working. Thanks for following!

      Delete
  49. i am eager to hear of your secrets. if you can inform and make the reader laugh, well, that's a genuine holy grail. you certainly do have a knack of engaging the reader. you certainly have laugh talent. and you have some hilarious followers too:) going to visit a couple now... thanks:)

    ReplyDelete
  50. I see what you are saying about responding to blogs and becoming part of the community. I would respond to more, and more often, if I didn't feel like what I would say has probably been said already. Three or four times. In a list of a hundred or more comments. I guess it is a matter of really having something to add to the conversation.

    Here's a question, though. Do you read through the comments left on the blogs you comment on? Or do you just scroll through? I sometimes want to know what people are saying, and then sometimes I feel like I'm eavesdropping on not my conversation. And sometimes there are just too many and it is overwhelming.

    ReplyDelete
  51. I don't read all of the comments if there are too many, but I do like to read the comments. Sometimes it is like an ongoing conversation. Some of them are pretty engaging. There are certain blogs I love to comment on.

    ReplyDelete
  52. You are awesome! My whole family loves you!

    ReplyDelete
  53. I have always wanted to be in a gang. For the perks you know, like doing drugs and getting shot at and going to prison. Wait, never mind, I don't think I want to be an a gang anymore. Except your gang, presumably yours has less shooting.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Oooh, I haven't been in a gang since I was a teenager (there were two of us and I'm not sure anyone else even noticed we were a gang, but we knew)

    ReplyDelete
  55. In my neighborhood BMW means break my windows. I enjoy whistling at my neighbors wretched dogs at four in the morning to get them barking. I hope money doesn't change me.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Very good and practical advice! I won't deny that you have me completely suckered with the promise of MOAR SECRETS! I liiike secrets. =D

    And 8 years old? Really? Not having to work (for money) for the rest of your life? THE CURIOSITY IS SWALLOWING ME!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Love it! I just found your site from The Bloggess, I'll be back!

    ReplyDelete
  58. New to your blog and I love it. The cartoons keep my attention. Not sure what that says about me lol...I'm looking forward to the tips !!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Love the drawings. especially in the beginning, I like how they positive drawings offset the negative live experiences. Unique and effective!

    ReplyDelete
  60. I loved this so much I've included a snippet in this week's Monday Memo: Monday Memo: Social Media Tips for Writers

    ReplyDelete
  61. fab blog, and witty and interesting... and inspirational. :) enjoyed browsing your posts, and i'm a new fan. following you now via google, and hoping to stay connected. have a fab day!

    xoxo
    jasmine
    AdamAlexMommy

    ReplyDelete
  62. Happy to have stumbled across your blog xD
    I will chk out more posts soon :D

    ReplyDelete