Why I bought an eyepatch farm this weekend

On a normal day, I suffer an irrational anger at milk or cats or something that I can physically destroy with no consequences.  But, lately that stinging anger has shifted to my thriving dome of bills that teeter off of the edge of my kitchen cabinet where I toss them unopened.  

However, when that dome starts to mature itself into an entire mountain range, it is time to take action.  The problem is that I do not have a job, but I do shop.  I spent the weekend pondering my situation, about how I am going to get rid of all of these bills.  Of course, I tried stabbing them first. 

I am considered, however, very creative and inventive.  As I sat there this weekend staring at the mounting stack of bills, I visualized in my head what I could invent and sell to make money.  And then...

It hit me! What was the one thing that the world needed and I could provide?  Something that could have MULTIPLE uses.  Economical.  Practical. 

Eyepatch and eyepatch accessories! Not pirate eyepatches.  No, my product is unique as it will always have more than one use.  Pirates are just dumb.

Here is an example of what I call "Firepatch."  I have a few kinks to work out, but so far I am very impressed with this product! Once again, all of my eyepatches will double as another product.

The next patch I had to buy an entire eyepatch farm for, but I think that it will be a best seller.  It is called "Cabbage Patch." The great thing about the "Cabbage Patch" is that the patch can be recycled, like a dirty cloth diaper, only you can eat it!  Cabbage is known for its many health benefits including lowering cholesterol, thus the patch would serve more than one purpose.  When your cholesterol is lowered as a result of eating the cabbage, your life would possibly be saved, thus making me a hero for saving your life!  You are welcome!

Another patch that really excites me is the "Pumpkin Patch."  I see this one quickly becoming a best seller as the pumpkin can be used in many versatile ways, including making a pie out of it! Who doesn't like pumpkin pie? We all do.  We LOVE pumpkin pie.  And you can carve it or play pumpkin bowling.  The pumpkin can even be used as a weapon in self defense if someone tries to attack you.  Once again, I have created something that saves lives.  That is a good feeling.

I will be selling the patches at the low price of $12.99 each.  You will not find a lower price as I am the only person who will be selling them.  No competition and the world is my possibility.  I am so glad I poured my life savings into this venture instead of paying my bills! Well, I would love to finish this, but I have a few dollars left and a whole lot of shopping to do!