Monday, August 20, 2012

The Tracie Show

My life this week has been completely scripted for me.
Ya'll will be happy to know that three cute guys asked me out this week.
It just didn't feel right, but this is my show, so...

Oh, I have a show now.

If you have not seen "The Truman show," geaux watch it and come back.

That is how my life has been this week.

Today, I was running late and I live in a town that has three gangs.
They only caught me at one spot today instead of one hundred spots.

While running late for an important appointment through town to take an important test I had not bothered studying for because it was a bother,  I began to instantaneously develop this intense fear of good things happening to me.  Then this happened...

I've always been at a unique disadvantage with the Red Light Gang as there are always dozens, if not millions of cars in front of me.  Mostly millions.  But, not this time.  It was as if someone had just parted the Red Sea for me to cross over into the Promised Land.  
I crept through wondering if there were land mines in that lane.  Maybe the Red Light Gang had set a trap for me!
My apprehension transformed itself into a staggering amount of wonderment and joy as I reached the Red Light Gang.  I sat there, though, developing a specific thought in my head that something horrible had to happen to me to balance out the equation of good things happening.


OR



Within seconds, however, the Green Light Gang showed up and dashed them away to harass someone else.  
Maybe, Someone "up there" is looking out for "little ol' me" because I made my appointment to take a test I had not studied for.  My plans, actually, were to study at the red lights.  

Scripted, I tell you.

Scripted.  

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56 comments:

  1. That is pretty well done of you :) And yes a lot of good luck in there. I'd be very worried about what is going to happen after it. I do feel bad for those boys you had to turn down though.

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  2. Wow those red lights really really have it out for you. But I guess things can always be worse, they could have lasted a few hours less and you would only get a 90%.

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  4. Good thing the green light gang was there to help you out!

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  5. Fun. Your creativity never fails to amaze me.

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  6. I think I'd enjoy the Tracie show. We have so many red lights in common . . .

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  7. This cracked me up. We all deserve a break now and then.

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  8. This just goes to prove the old addage, When the Gods want to punish you, they answer your prayers....

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  9. We had to wait an extraordinarily long time to make a left into a shop the other day. When I commented my granddaughter replied, "But you got all the lights green, Gramma." Interesting observation from a thirteen year old. And, there are probably fifteen lights on that road through town. She already knows life balances out.

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  10. The Red Light Gang has it our for me too. One of my friends actually commented once that she has never seen someone who gets stopped at red lights as much as I do.

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  11. Great show. It should be syndicated.

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  12. Congrats on your 95!!!! How about you being the heart breaker??? Leaving a trail of broken hearts all over town.

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  13. You turned them all down? Don't get cocky with the universe. If you spurn the good fortune offered to you, the universe does not appreciate it. But I guess devoting an entire post to your good luck is a nice way of saying thanks.

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  14. Congratulations on the 95, turning down 3 guys, new ones will ask you out:)

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  15. Way to go, Tracie! I am so glad that the Tracie Show is going so well. All the stars are aligned for great things to happen for Tracie.

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  16. If Mr. T posters aren't popular, than I don't even know what popular is. Because a nice, expensively framed Mr. T poster is exactly what I think every home decor needs.

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  17. Bahahah I HATE red lights. It's a big conspiracy, I tell ya.

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  18. You are about a nut...but that was hilarious reading for a Monday and lurved it! Go 95!!

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  19. *****watched by ray all the time!*****

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  20. Your illustrated blog posts always make me so happy. I just want you to know that. :D

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  21. Those red light dudes are always out to get me when I'm most in a hurry. They are in league with the gas sucking dude who makes sure that there isn't a drop in the tank when I have to go across town. Yep. Nearly every time.

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  22. I hate red lights! Grrrr! Luckily, in Jersey we have the "long yellow"!

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  23. Love it! That's my life in a nutshell, girlie! :D

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  24. Yay for the Tracie show!!! It'a always a ton of fun :)

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  25. Love the Tracie Show, now if you end up carnapped we know not to go shooting up the Crips or the Bloods we will have to shoot out all the red lights to save you, I'll start stocking up on rocks I think rocks will do the trick and are better then bullets these days ;}
    congrats on the test.

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  26. Sometimes, just sometimes, the good guys/gals do win.

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  27. I deleted my earlier comment because it sounded stupid, but I really do like the Tracie show!

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  28. Study at the red lights? What are you some sort of wizard? I could never pass a test I studied for in the car on the way there, I would kill myself on the way. Probably by driving off the side of a mountain.

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  29. I think we have a common enemy! Those lights are red for a reason...it is the color of blood and they are out for blood!

    Thanks for joining up at dude write!

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  30. The Stop Light God's were truly smiling down upon you today!

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  31. ::high fives:: That's awesome news!!! :))

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  32. Yeah Tracie, I can always count on you for a laugh!

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  33. "The Red Light Gang." Priceless.

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  34. That Red Light Gang scenario happens to me every night when I go to work....well, almost every night. Anyhow, I never thought about potential land mines before. Damn.

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  35. This was brilliant! Well done on doing so well on your test. hope the good luck continuous for you!

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  36. I want my own show. It would be one hour a week of me crashing into trash cans. No red lights.

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  37. Well done! I love it when the green lights are in my favor. Never seems to happen, but when it does, I say a little thanks to the traffic light gods.

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  38. If more than two good things happen to me in one day I suspect my wife is having triplets. Great article!

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  39. Woohoo! Congrats on passing your test and all the red lights :D.

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  40. I know about "The Truman Show", and I like the movie :) Sometimes I also feel that I am in the same kinda show. Like you said - scripted. :)

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  41. It's like this was your million dollar day. I read an e-card this morning that says "some days you feel like a million dollars; some days you feel like a food stamp". Here's to more MD Days and less red light gang.

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  42. Way to go Tracie!!!! More word math for you: Crack You Whip + Tracie = Awesomeness!!!

    xoxo,
    Gwen @ www.alittleunhinged.com

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  43. Glad the greens rescued you from the reds and that the odds were in your favor for at least a brief episode of your show!

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  44. Lol so funny!!! nice show!

    mylittlemr.com

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  45. Hahaha great show! Great to know the script writers were on your side for once. :-P

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  46. lolol! I always enjoy my visits here! Why do I take so long between them??? Wonderful post. Thanks for the laughs :-)

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  47. Ah ha! Love's started working its magic! (Read the last post first. Hmm, backwards, I know, lol!)

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  48. The Red Light gang hates me as well...They can make or break my morning drive to the preschool. I swear, it is like some one is watching, and changes them on purpose.

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  49. Hey! Where'd you go? We miss you!

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  50. I haven't laughed this much since The Ellen Show yesterday! Girl, you are FUNNY!!!

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