Yes, I said recently, not over a time period. Like, last week. I basically took my hotness, laughed at it and shoved it forcefully down the stairs.
Inside of me is that thin person struggling to get out...fighting, clawing and biting. Fortunately, she can be easily sedated with a spoonful of Nutella and Peanut Butter .
I have tried many forms of exercise. I have started sleeping with ankle weights on and hope to see the benefits of that soon. Just a few months ago, I was looking so hot that the butter in my pocket would melt right away. I started putting butter on everything, even skittles. I traded my hotness for that little luxury and now I feel like I have been bludgeoned repeatedly all over my entire body with a large bag of cellulite, butter and rocks.
I used to eat healthy cereal, you know the kind that tastes like the inside of your pockets. Then, a few months ago, I started mixing it in with the fun cereals...the ones with the free toys. Gradually, it became more "Choco Choco" and less "pockets." Realistically, the only thing that is free is the 10 pounds you gain from eating it.
I tried "Tofu."
I now understand "Pajama Pants Day" at Wal-Mart. Pajama pants are so much more comfortable than my size 3 jeans that dangle on the hangers in my closet, laughing and taunting me with their tightness.
Most of you know by now that I am famous for making lists. This is my latest one:
Well, I guess I need to go to Wal-Mart. Thankfully, my wardrobe is up to date.
