How to be the Cat's Pajamas and Gain Happiness and Wealth Along the Way--Part 1

I'm not from anyplace special on this Earth.  The state that I live in is shaped like a boot and I get kicked pretty regular by it.  Our mosquitoes are so large they fly around with small animals in their mouths. Last year, though, I bought a house and paid cash for a new BMW convertible.

I wasn't funny as a child.  The other kids in school thought I was the principal.

When I was a toddler, my parents threw me into a lake.  They weren't trying to teach me how to swim.

All of my friends were either invisible or imaginary...well, both.  

I have been offered cartooning jobs.  I have only been drawing for 92 days.

 

Statistically, I have a greater chance of being stabbed repeatedly in the eardrum with a rainbow in a desert during a 100 year drought than to have all of the good fortune that has befallen me.  I will be randomly sharing over the next few months different tips for increasing blog traffic, twitter accounts and gaining happiness in life in general (no blog needed).  However, I still want to maintain my regular posting of humor, life and goodness.  I will be slipping things into different posts, but my main secret (yeah, I have secrets) will completely blow your socks off (keep your shoes on for that one).  When I tell people of this simple little thing that I do, sometimes their mouths fall open and little puddles of drool form on the floor...it is that amazing and I started doing this at the age of 8!  Within six months of doing this, I had started my own business (yes, at 8 years old).  I had become a self-made millionaire somewhere in my 20's and will never have to work again for the rest of my life.  

I will be sharing "my secret"  when I reach my target goal of followers and subscribers  and I will also share it in the book I am currently writing.  I don't want you to buy anything (I have nothing to sell!), just follow along and read.  Maybe pretend to like me.  If you are really nice to me, I might let you send me some chocolate.

Are you ready to get started? Put your seatbelt on maximum buckling.  Here is the first thing:

Whether you have a blog or not, this is very important. Be a part of something.   These basic steps can be applied to anything, including Facebook or Twitter. Blogs are a valuable resource in networking, and can actually be utilized more than Facebook.  You don't have to have one, just be an active part of your favorite ones.  I have met so many great people doing this.  The average person only has a few hundred or a thousand "friends" on Facebook.  I'm even friends with Pepto Bismol on Facebook! (I have my reasons).  That does me no good as far as building a relationship. Build a community and you build your future.  I might be confused, though.  Maybe it's "Field annuity and seal a moocher."  It's one of those two.

Be a blog ninja! Don't have a blog? Use this principal in your everyday life.   Love your followers like a Ninja Turtle loves pizza.  The pizza will love you back. You know how when you walk into a spider web and every kind of ninja known to mankind comes out of you?Yes, be that kind!

I have an unusual amount of commenters on my blog.  They all get 5 stars and two enthusiastic thumbs up!

It makes blogging so much fun and makes me look really important! They read each other's comments and check out each other's blogs. I actually comment on several blogs a day. You can start off with just commenting on as few as one or two a day.   Doing this, I guarantee you either blog growth or carpal tunnel syndrome...whichever comes first. Whether you have a blog or not, it's also a great way to meet some wonderful people, in which case that would fall under happiness! 


Be positive and make your world a good place to be.  I created a stand alone comic like this one below and it may or may not have went viral. It was shared on Facebook so many times that I lost count.  People want to be positive and they want to be around other people who are.  That's a good sign!

Like I said, I will be breaking this post up into several increments so that it isn't book-length long and you get tired of me and go join the Crips or the Bloods or one of my other rival gangs.  I will be posting some funny posts in between just to break up the monotony of reading informative posts.  Thanks for being a part of my gang. 

Meanwhile here is something completely unrelated, but I found interesting on msnbc:

Apparently bottled water may boost tooth decay in children,so we are back to drinking chocolate syrup.  I love how the rules change.

twitter.com/crackyouwhip